TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE : Me!
TEACHER : Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
TEACHER : Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL : A teacher.